Crap hits the fan homeowner style.

Did you ever notice that major household appliances/necessary items always pick holidays to fail on?

Yesterday, our hot water heater, which had given us fair warning several months ago that it was on it’s last legs decided to give up the ghost and die in a geyser of rusty water.

I'd just gotten back from doing a grocery run to Wal-Mart, (Marine Corps combat training kind of serves well in a Wal-Mart on a Sunday afternoon), after having spent a large amount of money to keep the monkeys in food for another two or three days I was in a less than joyous mood.

On getting home and starting the process of unloading the many groceries I got the announcement from Vicky that the hot water heater had died, oh crap, (actually I said something else but....).

After shutting off the water and moping the floor with all the "dog towels" we could lay our hands on Vicky started putting groceries away while wrangling monkeys and dogs who all thought the small pantry with the dead hot water heater and a cranky dad would be a very good place to play.

I started the process of removing the old water heater. You know, close the intake valve, connect the hose to the drain valve, open the drain valve, and open the hot and cold water connections, drain the tank, and then remove. The plan sounded good, the execution was a little different.

It seems for whatever reason, (still can't figure out why), the tank didn't drain all the way. From the looks of what did drain we maybe drained 5-10 gallons of a 50 gallon tank.

Remembering Dad's old saying, "There is a smart way to do things and a dumb way to do things" I decided it would be smarter to take the "empty" tank, put it onto a two wheeled dolly and haul it out.

Well, the dolly promptly blew a wheel, the tank wasn't empty, my recently repaired shoulder is probably not as repaired now as it was last week, and the kids learned all sorts of "new words". Of course while trying to drag this tank out of the house and onto the back deck we had to dodge, Olivia running all around, dogs wandering all through our feet, Olivia delivering "Sonic Blasts" because she was getting yelled at to get out of the way so 300+ pounds of water heater didn't fall of the dolly and squash her like a bug, and Eli and Emelie getting in the way like the curious monkeys that they are.

Once safely placed on the back deck, Vicky opens the drain valve and low and behold, let there be hot water, lots of hot water, lots and lots of hot water. No wonder the thing was so bloody heavy! And here I had just thought it was full to the brim of lime and other sediment.

So off to Lowe’s I go. Although there are two Home Depot’s here in McKinney I’d rather do business with Lowe’s as I’ve found them to be more helpful and have the stuff that I need. The last thing I wanted to do was chase all over town, getting one part here, another over there, and six stops later wondering if I had everything.

I get to Lowe’s, find the hot water heaters, find a very helpful older gentleman, find almost all the parts, bits and pieces necessary to install a new water heater, and then proceed to quest for the mythical, “I know I have it somewhere”, ¾ compression fitting. It would have been easier to find the Holy Grail! We searched high, we searched low, and we looked behind shelves, under shelves, on top of shelves, nope not there. He kept suggesting a just solder a fitting onto the pressure relief drain pipe, knowing the type of day I was having I was imagining catching the wall on fire and watching the whole house go up in flames.

Finally I got frustrated enough at not finding what I needed at Lowe’s and headed to Home Depot. By this time I was frustrated enough that I left about ½ my tires on the Lowe’s parking lot and ¼ tank of gas in just getting out of there, (I didn’t know the 4Runner had enough stomp to break the tires free like that)!

I hit Home Depot at 7:10 with them closing the doors at 8:00. Once again I find the hot water heaters and almost all the parts, bits and pieces necessary to install a new water heater, and then proceed to quest for the mythical, “I know I have it somewhere”, ¾ compression fitting. This time we got lucky! We found the last one in the entire store! Loaded everything on the cart and $369 and change later I was on my way home.

Of course from having worked electrical contracting years ago I firmly know the two things plumbers have to know, payday is Friday and crap doesn’t run up hill! I then proceed to plumb the danged thing in backwards! Guess I should have read the directions first.

I fixed my plumbing mistake, plumbed in the pressure relief drain valve, wired in my electrical connections, and rechecked all my fittings. I said a quick prayer and got ready to crack open the intake valve, fully expecting to see water go spraying everywhere.

Well I got more proof that God does hear prayers, NO LEAKS! The dumb thing actually works!

Of course now I staring suspiciously at the air conditioner, I just know it’s planning on dying on the 4th of July.

The four scariest words....
That a homeowner can utter are, "Love, let's remodel this!" Actually, we have been doing a remodel on the back yard this month. Surprisingly, it has been almost painless--if you discount the scraped shins, and sore shoulders. Oh, and the dirt & mud...

Here's what we've been up to: Our house had a wooden deck when we bought it. It was a homebrew deck, built by the prior owner, for whom carpentry was not his strong suit! Over the 3 yrs we have lived here, the deck has deteriorated to the point both Dave & I were hating it. Boards were warped, the railings were falling apart--losing spindles & topcaps, and wobbling like a Weeble, and the steps had been rebuilt at least twice.

So just before Mother's Day last weekend, somewhat on the spur of the moment, Dave took the drill and started unscrewing the decking. Partly this was due to the necessity to clear space for the storm shelter we are getting. Work went pretty quickly, and soon Dave had the south part of the deck almost cleared.


Next day we decided to continue clearing decking away and removed about 1/3 ofthe west side.


Notice the large pile of debris and wood? That's just part of what was removed. We ended up giving away 2/3s of the good wood to one of Dave's coworkers, and kept some ourselves to make a box garden around the shelter once it is installed.

Since it never rains in Texas, we had all this lovely dry dirt. We have 3 kids...it didn't take long for them to discover the joys of playing in the dirt piles, and tracking as much as humanly possible into the house! This is Olivia after one particularly grubby session in the dirt!

We rapidly decided that the disaster potential for that much dirt far outweighed the cost of sod. So off to the grass farm we went. It took about 230sqft of sod to cover everything, but it did fit in place easily. It really does look a lot better now, all grassy & everything.



Now, all that is left to do is prep the north fence for removal for the Shelter folks to get their heavy equipment into our back yard, then finish out the deck by removing the remaining Weeble railing, scrub & restain the deck, and finally, build the garden tiers around the shelter. Whew! All this in the midst of a hot Texas spring/summer!
We must be insane...

The definition of a politician:

Two-bit, four-flushing, dirt-stupid, mono-synaptic, twinkle-toed, nostril-digging, booger-chewing, gauch-eyed, disease-ridden, vermin-infested, inbred, lily-livered, sheep-shagging, arse-picking, trough-swilling, blood-sucking, butt-kissing, parasitic catamites!

Credit where credit is due. I found the above at http://www.thelawdogfiles.blogspot.com/

Last worm of the day!

Well as it was Mother's Day last Sunday we decided to continue an old family tradition of mine. Take the family fishing! That and Vicky had to try out her new rod and reel that she had got as a Mother's day present from the monkeys.

Poor Vicky, I think she maybe got to try her new rod three or four time all totalled. The rest of the time was spent wrangling small children, cane poles, worms, and bluegill. I didn't even bother breaking out my rod as I figured I'd have no chance at all to fish.

Olivia spent the afternoon either trying to tell us it was time to go by putting the worms up, or expressing her frustration by trying to push us into the lake. She was very determined about it. Once she decided the other kids were having fun fishing though she got into the swing of it.

Eli actually was the first on the board with a fish with a little help from Daddy. This caused much upset with Emelie!

Eventually she moved her spot and got into the school of bluegill and started, "Blooper Catching"!

As Vicky and I had torn the deck apart at the house most of the morning and early afternoon I was pretty wiped out. After a couple of hours of fishing I'd decided it was time to go back home.

Emelie decided she wasn't done yet though and started getting upset and wanting just one more worm. Vicky decided that it wasn't worth the fight and the wailing and we baited her up one more time.

She flipped her line out in the water and as the bobber settled I saw it blip a couple of times like it was a small bluegill. I'd already turned around and started to get stuff ready to load up when Emelie started screaming FISHY! FISHY!

I turned around and realized her bobber was no where to be seen and her cane pole was bent almost in two. She was doing her best to just hang on to it. I managed to assist with the pole and once Vicky saw what was on the end of the line, she got ready to go into the lake after it!




All in all, not a bad last worm of the day!

Well, well, well...so we had some weather the other night. Here at the MonkeyHouse we were fine and didn't even have any rain, but Mother Nature wasn't so kind to some folks northeast of us in the county. They got to suffer through an F3 tornado. 3 people killed, 26+ homes destroyed, an uncounted number of homes & property damaged, and 10+ people injured--it may not sound like much, unless you're one of the 26 homeowners, or the injured, or related to the deceased.

We have friends who live in the affected area. Remember too, that basements are extremely rare in North Texas. I have yet, in 3 yrs to receive an adequate explanation as to why that is, but it is fact. Most folks don't even have an inground shelter. Luckily the folks we know up in Anna were unharmed.

Folks will tell you that tornados don't happen in the Metroplex. Uh, not true--downtown Fort Worth had one about 5 yrs ago. Folks will tell you that it is the heat radiating from all the concrete here that 'protects' us. While there is some evidence that occurs, the Ft Worth tornado shows it isn't perfect protection. Plus, we live up here on the very northern edge of the Metroplex, so I personally have a lot less faith in the heat-cap theory.

We were lucky this time. Next time we may not be able to dodge the bullet. One way or another, we're getting that shelter put in!